Fix Him
by KissHerJack
Summary: Summary: “The thing is… I thought I knew him, Mum. I though me and him were… and then he goes and does this. I keep forgetting he’s not human.” First in the Series 2 stories in my UNSEEN AND IN BETWEEN series - 10/Rose
1. Chapter 1

**Title: Fix Him**

Author: Gail R. Delaney

**Series: The Unseen and In Between**

Setting: _Christmas Invasion_

Characters: Rose, Mickey, Jackie, The Doctor (though passively), the TARDIS

Disclaimer: Not mine. If I owned Doctor Who, Christopher Eccleston and David Tennant would be my own private little playmates.

Summary: "The thing is… I thought I knew him, Mum. I though me and him were… and then he goes and does this. I keep forgetting he's not human."

Author Note: I spend as much time scouring the Doctor Who pages of _Wikipedia_ for a lot of the 'past lives' information. I remembered some from watching Doctor Who as a kid on PBS, but that was 20 years ago, so I needed to refresh my memory. Some things are open to interpretation – especially details surrounding the Eighth Doctor since much of his 'telling' was in book form. I hope I've carried it off.

--

With an exhausted huff, Rose brushed some stray strands of hair off her damp forehead and sat back on her ankles where she knelt on her mother's bed. She was beginning to think her refusal to accept Mickey's help had been stupid. This man was thinner than her Doctor, but his dead weight didn't make it easy to remove his clothes and get him in the pyjamas.

But, she wanted him out of the Doctor's clothes. The leather jacket didn't belong to him, and the trousers had hung off him like a kid wearing his father's pants.

Why she had refused Mickey's help, she wasn't sure. It's not like this man was any one to her… she didn't care who he said he was. So what if he knew the first words her Doctor had said to her? So what if he knew how to fly the TARDIS and knew how to take her home? He couldn't… it wasn't possible…

_As long as you believe, anything is possible._

Someone told her that once, a long time ago. And she had truly begun to believe it being with the Doctor. Not just believing in aliens, and time travel, and blue boxes that were bigger on the inside. Not just the fantasmic. But, believing in something better, believing in being more than she thought she could be. Believing in the kind of love that broke boundaries and never needed to be said to be felt.

Her fingers trembled as she fastened the final buttons on the pyjamas, her tears dropping on the striped cotton to form round, dark spots. Rose sniffed and smoothed her hand down his chest and pulled the blanket over him. He didn't stir, didn't make a sound. His chest barely rose and fell with his breath, and she wondered if he was dying.

Panic twisted in her chest, and for one brief moment she thought _What if he really is my Doctor? I can't watch him die again. Not again_.

The front door opened and closed, and her mum came into the bedroom, holding a stethoscope. "Here we go. Tina the Cleaner's got this lodger, medical student. And she was fast asleep, so I just took it." Rose took the stethoscope and stuck one earpiece in her left ear just as her mother added, "Though, I still say we should take him to the hospital."

Rose pulled the earpiece free, shaking her head. "We can't. They'd lock him up. They'd dissect him. One bottle of his blood could change the future of the human race." Jackie Tyler opened her mouth to add something, but Rose cut her off. "No! Shush!"

Jackie didn't look pleased, but she stopped. Rose scooted closer to the Doctor's side and put the stethoscope in her ears, leaning closer to him. Holding her breath, she laid the stethoscope against his left side, and heard the steady rhythm of his heartbeat, just like anyone would for any man. With a slight shake in her hand that she tried to hide, Rose moved the stethoscope to his right side.

The same steady rhythm sounded in her ears. She swallowed and sat back, removing the earpieces.

"Both workin'."

"What d'you mean _both_?" her mum asked.

"He's got two hearts."

"Oh, don't be stupid!"

Frustration and sadness collided in her chest, making it hard to take a breath. Her nerves were raw, and fatigue tugged at her. Her mother hadn't seen her in weeks, but for Rose, she had just left here hours before to find the Doctor and save him from the _False God_. She blinked, pausing for a moment, rolling the name through her head… _False God… False God_.

"He has," she snapped back, standing up.

"Anything else he's got two of?"

"Leave him alone," Rose ground out and left the bedroom, her mother on her heels. Even though she wasn't hungry, she knew her mother would be pesterin' her soon to eat and she wanted to avoid the lecture. She went to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator, picking up a pork pie for consideration.

"How can he go changin' his face?"

Rose dropped the pie and shut the door, blinking as a brief memory flashed of her Doctor looking up at her. "_Rose, you've done it. Now stop… Just let go_."

"Is that a different face or is he a different person?"

"_Rose, it's me. Honestly, it's me. I was dying. To save my own life I changed my body. Every single cell, but… it's still me."_

"How should I know?" Rose snapped out. She immediately closed her eyes and tried to sort it all out in her head. She sighed and turned to her mum. "Sorry."

Jackie nodded, and Rose saw in her eyes that she wanted to understand… and didn't want Rose to feel the way she did… but there was nothing her mother could do. She swallowed hard against the lump in her throat, the lump that had been choking her since he went away.

"The thing is… I thought I knew him, Mum. I thought me and him were… and then he goes and does this." She wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand and sniffed. "I keep forgetting he's not human."

"_I want you safe. My Doctor."_

--

The TARDIS was too still, too quiet… she felt empty. The usual hum that was always present in the air had dulled to barely a whisper over Rose's skin, and a heavy weight of sadness sat on her chest as she looked up at the still engine pistons.

She remembered how the TARDIS shook when the Doctor had convulsed before their landing, showing the depth of their connection. What he felt, she felt. It didn't surprise Rose — she had known for a long time that there was a deep-seeded connection between the Doctor and his ship.

"_The heart of the TARDIS. This ship is alive. You've opened its soul."_

"I need to understand," she said to the silent control room, her vision blurred with even more tears. Rose didn't expect an answer, but some small part of her hoped.

Another fragment of a memory whispered in her head of looking down at her Doctor, everything painted with a golden haze.

_He's lying on the floor of Satellite Five, his eyes wide as he stares at her. "What have you done?"_

"_I looked into the TARDIS. And the TARDIS looked into me."_

Rose's head hurt, but it didn't bother her nearly as much as the frustration at knowing she had forgotten something important. She remembered yelling at Mickey to go faster, to pull harder, and to open the Heart of the TARDIS so she could go back to the Doctor. She remembered being washed in warmth and liquid gold…

And then she woke up on the floor of the control room, and the Doctor was there. He was alive… but then…

"Tell me!" Rose slammed her fist on the edge of the console. "Tell me! Tell me!"

Silence answered her.

Wiping away her newest wave of tears, Rose left the control room to enter the inner sanctuary of the TARDIS. As it had been of late, many of their most used rooms were clustered together along a long hallway. Today the walls were high and the ceiling arches with massive carved architectural beams and the wainscoting shined with polish. A deep red Turkish rug covered the floor. The doors stood open, and first she saw the bedroom they shared.

A sob hiccupped in her chest as she went inside. It felt like an eternity had passed since the last time she woke up in his arms. They had left Cardiff, and the plan was to go on to Raxacoricofallapatorius to find a nice nursery for the now-egg form of Blon Fell Fotch Passameer-Day Slitheen.

The Doctor didn't need to sleep like she did, but each night he joined her in the bed. He ate with her because he said he enjoyed food, and her company, not because he needed to consume as much as she did… and always quoted _different biology_. She didn't complain, she slept better with him beside her.

Sometimes, she would wake to find his eyes closed and his features relaxed, his chest rising and falling with each deep breath of sleep.

Sometimes, she reached out for him and found him just sitting beside her, his back braced against the padded headboard and his attention far away.

Sometimes, she would open her eyes to find him studying her, lying beside her with a smile.

That morning —that morning that felt like an eternity ago — he had been studying her. And before she could slip from the warm covers, he had 'studied' her from head to toe.

"_You have beautiful knees."_

_Rose smiled, too satisfied and satiated to open her eyes. But she felt him behind her, his legs against her back and his fingers brushing over the back of her thighs. Most men she'd known were knackered after sex, but not the Doctor. It was more like an energy boost. Good for Rose… but, he could wear her out._

"_I don't think anyone has told me that before."_

_His thumb stroked the back of her knee, making her twitch slightly and giggle when he hit a ticklish spot. He chuckled, his hands continuing down her calf to her bare feet. Rose purred when his lips pressed to her ankle._

"_I'm quite fond of your ankles, as well."_

"_For a human?" she asked, not even trying to hide the humor in her voice._

_He shifted behind her, and she rolled onto her back as he leaned over her, bracing his hands on each side of her. The Doctor's weight settled over her, and she ran her hands from his naked hips to his back, loving the feel of his dual heartbeats beneath her palms. _

"_For a human," he said against her lips before kissing her. "For any race, any universe, any time." The Doctor shifted his weight onto his bent elbows so he could lace his fingers into her hair and deepen the kiss._

Then Jack banged on the door, shouting that the 'egg' looked like it was about to hatch. They went to Raxacoricofallapatorius, dropped off Blon Fell Fotch, and then went to Kyoto, Japan 'as a treat'. From there… her world had fallen apart.

One of his jumpers draped across the corner of the bed, and Rose picked it up, holding it to her nose. The soft material held the scent of leather, fresh air and The Doctor. Reluctantly, Rose let the sweater drop again to the bed. The only thing she would find in this room was memories.

She went back into the hall, heading deeper into the TARDIS, past her old bedroom, past Jack's bedroom, past the kitchen… The hallway ended with a wide, high archway that opened onto a landing with a carved wood banister looking down onto the Doctor's massive library. Her gaze immediately shifted to the fireplace, and more memories greeted her.

_"Rose…"_

_She loved the way he said her name, the way he had always said her name. It was as if no one else had ever spoken it until he did. Her body trembled as he pulled her tank top off, exposing her to the heat of the fire and of his gaze. Rose looked up at him, fighting the urge to cover herself. But when she saw the adoring glimmer in his eyes, she only reached for him and pulled him close._

_Skin against skin, she sighed and dug her fingers into his back as he kissed her neck and shoulders. She wanted to burn. To light up in flames. To be consumed._

_"There's nothing I should know, is there?" she managed to gasp between ragged breaths. "Nothing… unusual…'cos you're a Time Lord and all?"_

_The Doctor pushed his fingers into her hair and looked down at her, his familiar wide smile spreading his lips. "No, Rose."_

_"Good."_

_He kissed her and she had to hang on to keep from flying away. Her senses reeled, her equilibrium tilted and her whole body ached. Ached for him. Ached for __more__._

_She didn't remember lowering to the floor, or how they did it without losing contact, but they did and she looked up at him as he braced himself over her. The soft weave of the carpet cushioned her back, and she relished in the delicious sensation of his weight settling against her._

Rose turned left and walked along the banister, letting her fingers run along the warm wood. The staircase curved along the outer walls of the library, so close that she could run her fingers along the bindings of the books. Old, thick tomes with leather covers and gold letters sat along side obviously newer paperbacks and books with colorful dustcovers. Rose couldn't help smile when she saw all seven _Harry Potter _books gathered together on the shelf, bracketed on one side with at least two dozen _Nora Roberts_ romance novels, and the complete works of William Shakespeare on the right.

She reached the bottom of the stairs, and looked up at the three stories of books. Where would she begin to look for answers? And would the answers even be here?

Her attention shifted to a section of shelves with hundreds of thin books with no title or designation written on the bindings. Some had ribbons sticking out of them as place holders, others bits of string. All were worn, with curled edges on the pages. They varied only slightly in size, some were bound in leather, others different fabrics.

She pulled a random book from the shelf, and thumbed through it. Handwritten words filled the pages. "Journals," she mumbled, and glanced along the height and length of the book shelf. "Nine hundred years worth…"

She heard a thump, and spun around. On the floor at the base of the bookshelf was one of the journals, lying open. Rose couldn't resist the urge to glance around, but knew she would find no one. No one but the TARDIS.

"This a hint, I'm guessin'?" she said aloud, crouching down to pick up the book. The pages crackled and the leather binding creaked as she ran her thumb over the edge of the pages.

The book fell open near the beginning, and she scanned the neat handwriting. "Can't be the Doctor's," she said softly. "Can barely read his chick'n scratch."

_Sam and I have once again encountered rumors that Gallifrey is about to face an impending war like none ever seen or imagined. I have attempted to ascertain this enemy who sneaks in the darkness and seeks to destroy the very foundation of Time Lord existence. _

_I fear that this is a battle that many will not survive. I have decided to return Sam to Earth, somewhere near the beginning of the twenty-first century. The TARDIS has become more and more unreliable as of late, for which I cannot blame her. After all, she had traveled for a century before our fortuitous joining. But, for this reason, I cannot guarantee I will be able to return Sam to her proper place and time. I am quite sure Sam will be vexed with me, but I have lost dear friends in the past, and if I can somehow prevent the loss of another to death, I shall do it._

Rose grimaced and flipped the pages forward. Whoever that was, it wasn't the Doctor, for sure. All flowery and pansy, she needed a dictionary just to read it.

She flipped ahead, a feeling of dread skimming along the back of her neck.

On several pages, there were scribbled words, but written so erratically that she couldn't make out what they said. One section showed signs of pages being torn free, their ragged edges sticking out of the binding, and the page before and after were crinkled by spots that had once been wet, but had long since dried. She turned the page.

_They're gone. They're all gone._

The rest of the book was blank.

With shaking hands, Rose closed the journal and held it to her chest. "Oh, God."

Blinking hard, she slid the journal into the space left behind when it fell to the floor. Her fingers curled around the binding of the next journal on the shelf. This one was bound in deep-grained brown leather, the edges of the pages showing much less wear than the others. For some reason she didn't understand, Rose's heart beat faster and she caught her breath. In this journal, without even opening it, she knew it was _his_.

She opened the cover, and flipped to the center of the book.

"_That which we call Rose Tyler by any other name would smell as sweet"_

_I don't know about that… not sure I'd care for calling her something like – oh, I don't know – Martha or Ingrid or Bertha. Rose fits her. Beautiful, but poke her wrong and she pokes back._

_Though, I suppose I've picked up worse traveling companions. Had a few thick ones, more like dead weight than anything. But not this one. She's clever, for a human. Barely blinked when she came in the TARDIS._

_I didn't want to bring her along. Been doing fine alone. Better that way. Even with her here, I'm not convinced it was a good idea. The TARDIS had other ideas, stubborn old ship. She wouldn't let it go._

_Nothing to be done about it now. She's here until she doesn't want to be. I took her to 5.5/Apple/26. Didn't bother her. Well, it did… but not enough to make her leave. Took her to 1869 Cardiff, and nearly got turned into zombies by the Gelth. She looked beautiful. Not that it matters. Either way, still didn't shake her enough to make her go home, so I guess she's here for a bit._

_Personal note: Check the TARDIS navigational circuits again. May need a mercury filter next time I'm at a commerce market. She's getting sketchy again._

_Rose is sleeping. One too many glasses of the Fruit of Kasterbarous. The TARDIS gave her a room, so I guess the old girl expects her to stay, too._

Rose sank to the floor, bracing her back against the wall. She hugged the journal to her, and drew her knees to her chest. Tears ran down her cheeks, falling on the leather cover of the journal. She quickly wiped them away, not wanting the treasured book to be marred by her tears.

Part of her wanted to read more. These were his words, his thoughts… about her, about where they had been and what they had done. But, right now… her heart couldn't take it.

When the tears eased and she could breathe again without her lungs aching with the effort, Rose rolled to her feet, still holding the journal to her chest. She intended to leave, but something nudged at her—like a tingled at the base of her skull.

_There's more_.

She screamed and stumbled back, spinning around searching the empty space for the source of the voice. An ottoman caught the back of her legs and she sat with a _humph_, trying to catch her breath. Urgency danced over her skin.

_Link breaking. Connection dying._

Rose swallowed, slowing rising to her feet again. She stared up, not at anything in particular, just up into the dark caverns of the endless ceiling. The whisper didn't come from there, not from anywhere in the room, but from within her mind.

_Fix him_.

"I don't know how." She knew now who she addressed, and until today she hadn't ever thought about being so direct. "It's him, though, isn't it? You…" she stuttered over the words, blinking rapidly as she tried to wrap her brain around the conversation. "You wouldn't lie about that. It's him. That's the Doctor."

_Fix him._

"How?" Rose demanded.

Several more journals flew from the shelves, all from different places along the seemingly endless rows. Rose picked them up, nine in all including the first journal the TARDIS had tossed to the floor, and bundled them in her arms.


	2. Chapter 2

"Rose, you in there?"

Rose jumped at the combined sound of knocking at the TARDIS door and Mickey's voice on the other side. She slapped closed the journal she had been reading, and unfolded herself from her seated position on the jump seat.

"Rose! Open up. I look daft out here pounding on an old blue box!"

"Comin'," she answered, and walked with stiff legs across the console room the door. She didn't know how long she had been sitting cross-legged on the jump seat, but she felt it now. Rose reached the door and yanked it open, letting Mickey in. She was already half way up the ramp again before she heard the door close.

"Your mum said she thought you came down here."

"Yeah," she said quickly, gathering the scattered journals from the floor and the jump seat. "I just… I was hoping to find somethin' to help him."

"Did you?"

Rose looked down at the journals and shook her head. "No. Maybe. I don't know. I just know…" She shook her head again, still trying to sort it all out. She hugged the journals she held to her chest, looking at Mickey. "It's him, Mickey. That man… it's him. The Doctor. He's done this before. _Lots_ of times."

"What'chu mean 'lots'?"

"At least nine times, including this time. _Nine times_, Mickey! I mean, he told me he was nine-hundred years old, but I just figu'd, you know, Time Lords aged really, _really_ well. But, he said…" Rose blinked, sitting on the edge of the jump seat. "Just before he… he changed… he said it was the Time Lord's way of cheatin' death."

"If they do this kind of stuff so much, what happened?"

Rose shook her head. "I don't know. These are his journals. Mickey, there are _nine hundred years_ worth of journals in the library!" She knew she was probably rambling, but the things she had been reading…they were amazing. _Fantastic. _"I don't think I ever really thought about it. _Nine hundred years_." She shuffled through the journals until she found the one she wanted. "Look here…

She grabbed the oldest of the journals, carefully opening the delicate pages. The paper was brittle, and the writing had begun to fade. "This journal belonged to the first him… and get this, Mickey. This TARDIS? He stole it! He bloody stole a _junk_ TARDIS, Mickey!" Then she quickly looked up to where the center piston disappeared into the high ceiling. "No offense."

Before Mickey could say anything, Rose flipped to the back of the journal. The writing here was different, tall and thin lettering with the words pressed so close together they were hard to make out. Which was okay for now, she'd already read the important parts.

"He was fightin' the Cybermen—"

"Who are the Cybermen?"

"I think they're like robots, or somethin'. I saw the head of one in Utah."

"Utah… as in the States?"

"Yeah, but _listen_, Mickey," she said, raising her hand to get him to shut up. "That's not the important part. He changed! You can see it in his writing, and the words he uses, but he's the same."

"You just said he changed."

"He did."

Mickey shook his head, and shrugged. "I don't get it."

"He was different, but he was the same. Inside. Mickey, I read these journals, and I can see _him_. _My_ Doctor." She ignored the face Mickey pulled, and grabbed the next journal. "You know how I know? He _completely_ ticked off this big, important council on Gallifrey. They broke the TARDIS and banished him to Earth for _interferin_' too much. Isn't that my Doctor?"

"I don't know, Rose. I don't know _your_ Doctor the way you do. You tell me."

"The third time he regenerated, it was because of radiation poisoning. And the fourth time, he fell off a radio tower. But, that time, something when all screwy in his head and he wasn't quite right. The people he traveled with, um…" She tossed aside the journal she had been holding, and snatched up the correct one, flipping quickly through the pages. "Here! Nyssa and Tegan. They put him in this room called a Zero Room so he could recover because the regeneration didn't go right… just like now. I think maybe it gets harder to do the older they are, and the more times they've regenerated. This room was like… like this little void where the outside Universe doesn't exist. 'Supposed to help him get his head straight, let him rest."

"So, where's this Zero Room? Can't we just do that for him now?"

"No, he had to jettison part of the TARDIS after that regeneration, and lost it."

"What good does that do us, then? Rose, you've been down here for like _five hours_ reading these books."

Rose just continued, because there was too much to say. Too much to tell him. "He was poisoned the fifth time, and he says here that he worried whether he was loosing his ability to regenerate. He almost didn't that time. He almost just died. And I guess he was kind of… nutters… when he came 'round."

"Nothing new there…"

She ignored his sarcasm. "And when he regenerated the seventh time, he was shot. Just shot stepping out of the TARDIS. He didn't know who he was for days! He was right here, on Earth. San Francisco in 1999. He was chasin' after another Time Lord, like an evil Time Lord. Called himself the Master."

"And I thought _The Doctor_ sounded obnoxious."

She paused, laying her hand on the cover of the last journal, the journal with the torn pages and tear marks. The fascination with his multiple lives faded into the sorrow that emanated from the journal like an unseen force field. Rose cleared her throat, brushing her thumb across the cover, trying to somehow ease the pain lodged in the pages. She remembered the strained look that always pinched the Doctor's face, darkening his blue eyes, when he spoke of Gallifrey and the War that took his people. Sometimes, he told her about the War… sometimes, he told her about his home.

"Then there was the War."

"What war?"

Rose looked up, meeting Mickey's gaze across the space of the console. "He calls it the Time War. It was between Gallifrey — That's his home — and the Daleks. That's who we were fightin' on Satellite Five when he sent me back here. He thought they were all gone, thought they all died in the War with his people." She drew a slow breath, tamping down the rush of emotion that she had managed to forget for a bit while she read the journals. "We found one awhile back. A Dalek. But, it was dead before we left. Killed itself. He thought it was over."

"So, what's all this mean?"

She laughed, but not because anything Mickey said was funny. Because she had no answers, had no idea how to help him. How to save his life. All she knew, the one thing she was sure of, was that in that new body — behind that new face — was her Doctor.

"Doesn't mean anything," she said softly as she gathered up the journals and headed toward the door that led to the inside of the TARDIS. "Just means it's him, s'all."

She paused at the door of their bedroom, but decided to take the journals to the bedroom she had first slept in when she came with the Doctor. She wanted to keep the journals for a while, and worried that if he knew she had them, he'd take them back.

_If he lives…_

--

"_Is it always this dangerous?"_

"_Yeah."_

And it had been… dangerous. But, it had been wonderful, too. She spent a lot of time running… from Gelth, Slitheen, Daleks, Jagrafess, Time Reapers… running, running, running. But in all that running, there had remained one constant.

The hand that held hers as they ran.

He promised her he would take care of her. Moreover, he promised her _mum_ he would take care of her, and that was as good as a blood oath.

She's been scared… terrified… more than once. But, then she'd look at her Doctor, and he'd give her that pompous grin that said, "_I'm the Doctor. I'm brilliant. No worries"_, and she'd know he would.

"_You all right then? They didn't hurt you?"_

_She nodded. "I'm fine. Just scared."_

"_No need. You're with me."_

_Rose smiled and slipped one hand free to touch his face. His eyes shifted to look into hers again. The Doctor covered her hand with his, turning into her touch to kiss her skin. _

"_I promised, remember? I'll always take care of you, Rose. No matter what."_

Despite what the journals said, and what the TARDIS had tried to show her, she couldn't ignore the feeling of abandonment when she looked at this new body… this new face… this new man.

The first time she let herself truly and honestly believe that this man was her Doctor, was when he forced himself from a near-comatose state to save her and her mother from a killer Christmas tree at her simple plea of _"Help me"._

And he had… then he collapsed again, and the small speck of hope she'd let bloom died. When Mickey asked her if she loved him, she couldn't answer. She did… she loved The Doctor with everything she was… but, the loss that smothered her like a down pillow on her face wouldn't let her breathe, or see, or accept.

So, she did what he had taught her to do. She kept going. She kept fighting. And she protected… protected her mum, Mickey, even him.

Rose Tyler had never known fear like the terror that made her heart pound, tainted her throat with the metallic taste of adrenaline, and left her insides trembling as she faced the bone-faced leader of the Sycorax.

"_The Doctor showed me a better way of __living your life__. That you don't just give up. You don't just let things happen. You make a stand. You say no. You have the guts to do what's right when everyone else just runs away!"_

She focused on those words that she had shouted at Mickey and her mother, before she had found the key to getting back to him. She hung on to everything he had taught her, everything he had give her. Rose remembered his exuberance when he danced around the console, shouting "_Everybody lives, Rose! Everybody lives!"._

Today, everyone would live if she had anything to do with it.

And then he was there. Different face. Different voice. Different body. Wearing striped pyjamas and a blue dressing robe instead of a beaten black leather jacket… but he was The Doctor.

He stood up. He fought. He won. Just as he always did. He saved her, and the whole bloody planet… just as he always did. And in that moment, when she stood beside him and he faced the entire Sycorax congregation, she knew without a doubt that he was Her Doctor.

"_When you go back to the stars, and you tell others of this planet, when you tell them of its riches — its people — its potential, when you talk of the Earth, then make sure you tell them this. It. Is. Defended."_

In the end, it was tea. Simple English tea, and it was nothing she did to fix him… it was her mum, whether intentional or not.

And when he asked Rose to stay with him… she said yes.

When he reached for her hand… she took it. If she closed her eyes, she still felt the same rustle shift through her, even though his fingers were longer and his skin was smoother. That was what mattered… the current that stirred beneath the skin, not the skin itself.

That's what she told herself, anyway.

When he looked at her with now-brown eyes, she tried to see the blue ones she missed so much. She smiled wider, laughed quicker, hung on tighter to his hand, hoping that she could hide the darkness that still sat in her chest, the place that missed him even though he was there.

The darkness was the part of her that missed the lines around his eyes and the way his lips became small and tight when he was angry or determined. The part that knew the cut of his body and the way his muscles felt beneath her hands, the way he felt inside her and beside her. The part of her that could still feel the brush of his angled cheeks and sharp nose against her neck and shoulders as he kissed her. The part that knew his voice, knew the weight and tone and feel of it. The part that missed the smell of leather, and secreted the battered jacket into her bedroom, sliding it beneath the pillow before he could see.

But, he did see. He stood in the hall when she came out of her bedroom, and the sad pinch around his eyes was almost familiar. Rose leaned against the doorjamb, her hands behind her and her chin down, not able to hold his gaze for too long. Instead, she focused on the trainers he wore – such a drastic contrast to the heavy, black boots he used to wear – and the rumpled hem of his brown pinstripe suit.

"I'm sorry," she started to whisper.

"Don't be," he said quickly, the weight and tightness in his voice forcing her to look up. "You don't need to be." The Doctor shook his head slightly, emphasizing his words.

Rose took a shaky breath as her gaze shifted down the hall to their bedroom, the one they had shared just days ago. Had it really only been days? She rested her head on the carved wood of the jamb, suddenly more tired than she realized. Sleeping in this bed again would feel strange, but it wasn't nearly as strange as trying to sleep in the bright pink fluff of a bed in her old bedroom where the walls closed in and the Earth air smothered her in the middle of the night.

"I'm just glad you're here."

Rose looked back to him, and the pinch was replaced by a wide smile, and despite herself, she smiled too. "Yeah?"

"Oh, absolutely." He held out his hand, wiggling his fingers, and before she could even consider _not_ taking it, his fingers wrapped around hers. "Come on, then. Ready to go?"

Rose jogged behind him, having to walk faster to keep up with his long strides as they went back into the console room. He immediately began throwing switches and pushing buttons. The TARDIS engines revved to life, the center piston pumping with what Rose could only call glee. She felt it in the air; a happy tingling that tickled her skin and brushed at the nape of her neck.

_Thank you._

"Don't thank me," she said softly. "Thank my mum and her bloody tea."

_You fixed him._

"Did you say something, Rose?"

Rose shook her head, her eyes shifting upward to where the piston rose and fell within its chamber. "Nothin'."

"Hold down the Triphasmic Buffer Relay, will you?"

Rose blinked, and tried really hard not to say "Wha?"

The Doctor didn't pause, just took her hand and placed it on a small, round, green button before moving on to fiddle with more controls on his side of the console. The engines rumbled and the TARDIS shook, the light in the control room turning a beautiful blue.

"So, where are we going?"

The Doctor grinned, the tension of just moments before completely gone, and Rose released an excited breath a the tightness in her chest eased, giving way to the bubbling excitement that she experienced every time the TARDIS engines came to life.

"Further than we've ever gone before."


End file.
